the wonderful me

I really believe I am the most wonderful human being to ever walk the earth; I mean that. I guess that makes me a real conceited ass, but I don't know anyone else as fully as I know myself, I don't care about the lives of anyone else as much as I care about my own life. I am incredibly self centered. I don't doubt that I'd give my life to save my mother, or my brother, or even a good friend, but I would do it because that's what I believe I ought to do. As much for my own self image as it is for their protection. I am aware of my many, many shortcomings, and yet I don't mind them as much as I mind the shortcomings of others. It all comes down to the fact that I don't know if 'life' is anything more than my own state of consciousness,and if that's really all there is, I am really all there is? I think this might make me a sociopath, good thing I'm too much of a empathetic wuss to ever murder something.

Feeling lost in the current of still water

What an obnoxious title! Kinda pretty though, at least I think so. Blogging is a strange idea for me. I've always thought good writing was personal yes, but not necessarily autobiographical. In fact, I've always thought the idea of writing an autobiography to be fairly pompous. You really think anyone cares? I've heard it takes a bit of pretentiousness to write, is the same true even for a blog? If nothing else blogging is basic, unromantic; it's not done for fanfare or even, at least in my case, for anyone other than yourself to enjoy. Does that make it less pretentious? I doubt it. To be a true blogger at least, you surely feed your ego with the fact that others care enough about your writing to come back and visit your blog again and again. The famed 'hitcounter' replaces the best seller, maybe not, but I could see it. It's as cold today as any day I can remember, and I can't help but feel a little blue; another miserable winter in Ohio quickly approaches. I'd promised myself to be out of the state by now. Maybe next year.

In other news,
the Chicago Bulls play the trailblazers tonight, a friend of mine lost his Father this morning after a long struggle with Heart disease, My Mother and older Brother are without transportation for the time being and I've no money to send, my car needs a new radiator, and Guns and Roses are actually releasing Chinese Democracy, just ahead of the Chinese, also I've found blogging less annoying than I'd expected.